Past-times of a Pregnancy

1. Online shop on maternity store sites, fill your basket of items and cancel the screen before your boss sees your shopping list. (Same goes for your Baby Registry)

2. Disinfecting everything.

3. Searching for the origin of whatever smell is driving you crazy in your car or house and vanquish it.

4. Cleaning floor boards, window sills, garbage cans, shampoo carpets, shaving all the hair off your dogs.

5. Washing baby clothes for 33 week old baby that hasn't arrived yet; folding and rearranging them by category, color, and size.

6. Counting all the different scenarios that could lead to you having to be forced into a C-Section and worry.

7. Watching your belly move. (Hello Jayden)

8. Lather whole body in Coco Butter 2x daily.

9. Search for stretch marks, veins, or any other marks that weren't on your body 8 months ago and cry about them.

10. Vow to go on the most strict diet of your life in 6 weeks.

11. Enjoy your pre-diet cuisine while you can.

12. Sike yourself out by watching way too many births on the Discovery Channel and cry along with the family on television when the baby is finally born.

13. Avoiding full length mirrors, snapshot pictures, and the scale.

14. Look for things that you've misplaced for the third time that day.

15. Trying not to fart around any innocent bystanders. (Sorry Paul)